You can clear all the logistical, legal, financial and parenting hurdles that come along with a divorce... and you can still be overwhelmed with heartbreak. That's because your emotional self is different than all other aspects of your divorce, and it's on a timeline all of it's own.

There are a lot of ways to feel better. Some women wait for the slow passage of time. You know these women... they're the ones who, years later, are still blaming their ex and their divorce for the state of their life. They are bitter, not better. Other women decide to anesthetize their pain with food, alcohol, unhealthy relationships, etc. - habits that don't add any value to their lives. For others, they might try to feel better by becoming overly-involved in other people and other dramas as a way to distract themselves from the pain.

None of these strategies lead to success. They only lead to more pain and frustration. If you really want to heal from your heartbreak - if you really want to let go of the hurt you feel - You must make a commitment to feeling better, and follow that commitment with action.

It sounds obvious, right? Of course you're committed to feeling better! Who wouldn't be? But here's the thing: a lot of moms say that want to feel better. They say they want to be happy and at peace again. They say they want their lives to be a certain way. They say a lot of things but they don't take consistent action toward what they say they want.

Unless you make a commitment to changing your life, then you're just wishing, wanting and hoping it will get better.

When you decide - absolutley and firmly - to make a change in your life, you commit to making that change. And when you follow up that commitment with focused action, that's where the 'magic' happens. That's when you start to shift from feeling bad to feeling great again.

The way to get some momentum around this is to look at other areas of your life you would like to improve. Don't just look at your romantic life. Look at at your life in total. If you want to lose some weight, get out the running shoes and commit to doing it. Tired of the messy house? Start organizing, one room at a time. Want a different job? Spruce up your resume.

When we are suffering from heartache, we tend to focus solely on our romantic loss. But when you broaden your scope and start taking action on other areas of your life, you will gain more control and mastery in your life. You will feel confident and happy with each goal you accomplish. You'll stop waiting for someone else, or for the slow passage of time, to make your life better. Your life will expand and your heartache will soften and begin to fade to the background.

If you're caught in the cycle of wishing, wanting and hoping to feel better, it's time to get decisive. Decide that healing your heartbreak, that healing the pain you feel right now, is important. Decide it matters. Decide you are worth the efforts. Then break it down to actions you can take right now, and get to it Mamas!

You are SO worth it.

All my love,

Jeanie